Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
