I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All the doctor said was why
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
