The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
