But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
