She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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