"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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