I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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