I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you would pick up someone in the library
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
