How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
