wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
