Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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