my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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