sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My vagina is officially offended.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
