whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
