My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
