i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
