Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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