help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize