Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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