We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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