In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
