He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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