My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
