Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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