I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
