i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
