Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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