Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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