u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
BRING THE BAGELS
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
