did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
wow bdsm is so cute
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
