I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
