You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
