you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize