that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize