We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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