Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
