i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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