You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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