And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
