Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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