I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
