My boss' voice literally gives me gas
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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