my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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