Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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