the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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