I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize