I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
