my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
