This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
