I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
