it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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