Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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