someone get that fucking seahorse.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
