I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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