My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
