So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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