I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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