she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she peed on how many people?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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