Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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